


Ritual (Nous sommes du soleil)

by BlindManBaldwin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Death Fix, Deb Chow save me, F/M, Fix-It, George Lucas come back, JJ Abrams go away please, Post-Canon Fix-It, Rian Johnson is our only hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21868756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlindManBaldwin/pseuds/BlindManBaldwin
Summary: Rey contemplates her life and seeks answers in the desert of the past
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Ritual (Nous sommes du soleil)

“Breathe...just breathe,” Rey muttered under her breath as the harsh midnight winds of Tatooine raged on out the ruins.

She camped—squatted—here in the home of Skywalker. Where Luke’s grandmother found love. Where Luke’s father learned pain. Where he Luke yearned for adventure. 

And where she would seek answers.

She did not know what to do with everything that happened on Exegol. She learned truths about herself that she would never escape. She felt fear stronger than any she felt before in life: of her past, for her friends, for Leia, for everyone. She felt the comfort of the embrace of a thousand generations of Jedi—the voices of Jinn and Windu and Yoda and Tano ringing through her mind, giving her the strength to stop the Emperor and liberate the galaxy from the tyranny of the Sith for all time. 

And she felt love.

For a fleeting moment—yet one that would stick with her for the rest of her life—she felt love. In the arms of a monster turned man.

“Ben,” Her heart grew cold at the thought of him. How happy he looked, how peaceful he felt as he died. Their souls were intertwined through the Force. More than growing up as an orphan, more than when she felt in the face of the Emperor—she felt alone here. 

In another desert.

“I need some sleep,” She thought. “I need a new day. To find a new life and a new home. I….” She looked down at her hands—the hands that shot the lightning that nearly killed Chewbacca, the hand that stabbed Kylo Ren, the hand that buried the past of Luke and Leia.

“No…” Tears began rolling down her face. “I, I don’t need those things. I need…”

With her left arm, she took off the bandages covering her scar on her arm. The scar of two hands becoming one would be her memento of Solo forever. As she touched it, a modicum of peace came over her heart. 

Unlike the desert of Jakku, the night of Tatooine was boisterous and loud. She could hear chaos in the nearby settlements—whether it was First Order or Hutt gangsters or general debauchery, she didn’t care. The sounds would keep her from her own thoughts. 

“Beebeeate,” She looked down at the droid who followed her this far. “Stay here, I’m going for a walk.”

“Boooweee!”

The old woman was right—no one had been in her for a while. Every room in the structure was covered in sand and dust. She knew the story from Artoo of what happened here. When Luke, Kenobi, and the droids left, the Empire came searching. When they couldn’t find what they were looking for, they killed Owen and Beru. A couple of no ones who became the parents to the biggest someone in the galaxy.

They would understand her.

The Lars family were moisture farmers, people who made something from nothing to carve out a little life in the galaxy. Rey knew the story by heart—Owen inherited the farm from his father, Cliegg. Late in life, when he thought life had escaped him with the death of his first wife, he found love in the most unlikely places—a slave. He fell for the slave of Watto, Shmi Skywalker. Using every dime he had saved up for retirement, he purchased her from Watto—who needed the price of a thousand slaves to free her. 

But no price was too high for love.

“Even life,” Rey lamented. She knew how Ben died. Just as she healed the worm and Ben, so to did he heal her. Only it took all his strength to do it. 

Rey lost her words as her mind went back to that moment—where she awoke from death. She stared into his eyes, filled with life and joy. She looked at his lips—full and vibrant—and knew what she had to do. Before he faded away, they truly became one. The shared happiness proved to her one thing—he would be as dead without her as he was in the mask.

The winds blew stronger in the wilderness surrounding the abandoned farm. Sand kicked out of rest and carried off into wherever the wind would take it. This was the way of things. Sediment settled and sediment eroded—the world was in constant motion. Nothing was ever truly set in stone.

Rey walked into the garage—where Threepio and Artoo entered Luke’s life and carried him off on a life of adventure. If it wasn’t for those two droids, none of this would have ever happened. Leia’s words, some of her last to Rey, rang in her ear—never underestimate a droid.

“Leia,” Rey slumped down on the cold, dusty floor of the garage. She knew Leia was at peace in the Force. But she wanted to know if she knew the truth of his son; that he was a good man. Her death, just as Han’s and Luke’s, were not in vain. They saved their son. 

And she couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Tears ran down Rey’s face. “I’m not strong enough to save him. I...I failed…”

Rey saw Luke and Leia in the desert, but she didn’t see him. It confused her, confounded her as the noise in the distance faded away. He was gone, just like Luke and Leia, yet why was he not still around? He was as good as they were. Why did he not get to live on in peace as they did? 

With her left hand, she dabbed the tears out of her eyes. The last year of her life has been in nonstop turmoil. So much she buried, she resurfaced. So much she knew nothing of, she learned. So much she never experienced before, she felt. 

But she had no one to experience, surface, and learn with. She could go back to the Resistance, but they had their own lives. No one there could understand her—the truths of her past, the journey she had been on. They all had their own, equally valid, struggles. But nothing like her. Only one person ever truly understood her. 

And he was gone.

“I’ve never felt so alone…” She lamented.

“You’re not alone,” A voice echoed in her heart. The rhythm of her chest stopped.

“No,” She said. “You’re...you’re just a memory.”

“Your memory.”

Rey clenched her right fist as the tears began again. The voice would be inside her head forever. She would never find solace or peace. Her slumber would once more be plagued by nightmares—only instead of the past she lost it would be of the future she never had. 

“I can’t sleep, not tonight, no,” Rey stood up and opened the rusty garage door—a door left untouched for generations. Slowly, it slid open. The night began to turn to dawn. The black sky slowly turned orange. The winds kept howling, but the winds of the day were softer than the winds of night—for night in the desert meant cold. Day would at least bring warmth, a warmth so overpowering it might bury Rey’s feelings.

She walked out onto the dunes to feel the light of day overcome her. The same dunes where Luke once stood, contemplating his own life as night fell. He knew not that it would be the death of the old and the birth of something new. 

Maybe it’d be the same for her. 

She sat cross legged on the dunes and tried to center herself in the Force.

“Breathe...just breathe,” She whispered to herself. 

The rhythms of life grant a Jedi their strength. Through breathe, serenity in life can be found. The fundamental truth of life was the interconnectedness of all things. Everything lived in balance with everything. The actions of one impacted all and the actions of all impacted one. Through harmony and unity, peace would be found. 

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Slowly the wind faded away. The coarse, rough sand beneath her became nothing. The sounds in the distance became drowned out by the beat of her heart. 

There was nothing.

“Close your eyes and open your heart,” The voice spoke. 

There was something.

“And I’ll always be with you.”

There was everything.

“No one’s ever really…”

“Gone,” Rey interrupted the voice—breaking her concentration and opening her eyes. A beautiful, twin sunlight rose upon the Tatooine sky. 

And beneath all of it, being enveloped by all of it was him.

“Ben,” She whispered—so low only one standing right beside her could hear it.

“Rey,” He heard it perfectly clear. The same blue glow that accompanied Skywalker and Organa surrounded him. 

But it was him.

He was here.

“You’re not alone,” He said. Somehow, the sun ignited his jet-black hair in a heavenly glow. He wore the same black under robe he had on Exegol, but was now joined by a white robe reminiscent of Luke’s. “And you never will be.”

“Ben, I’m sorry,” The meeting felt bittersweet. She was elated to see him, but yearned to feel him in her arms again. The warmth of the sun was nothing like the warmth of another soul. “I, I couldn’t save you…”

“Rey, you did save me,” He walked off the dune and approached her. “You saved me from an eternity of pain. You saved me from the past and present. You...you gave me a future.”

“I,” Rey spoke out of instinct and not thought. “I,”

He got even closer to her—close enough to reach out and touch. “I love you, Rey, and I will always love you.”

“I...You offered me your hand before and I said I wanted Ben’s hand,” Rey lowered her head and shook it. “And I, only for the briefest moment did I get to feel it.” Rey extended her left hand out as she closed her eyes. “Take mine, for the rest of my life. You’re all I have and all I’ve ever needed in life.”

Ben took his right hand—ghostly and transparent—and placed it on Rey’s. He closed his own eyes.

The moment their hands touched, the winds miraculously calmed. Not a single cloud resided in the sky. The storm ceased to be. 

Where Rey had been gripping nothing but memory, she now felt flesh. The warmth of another pulsed through her soul. 

She opened her eyes, her jaw dropping in shock.

Ben Solo lived once more. 

One hand became two, which became a hug and quickly turned into a kiss. Two breaths now sang as one.

Where she was mattered not anymore. She didn’t need a planet or a purpose—she needed a person. Wherever he was would be home for her. Wherever she was would be home for him. 

_ Nous sommes du soleil _

**Author's Note:**

> That film hurt me quite a bit, so I needed to write something to help me heal. Thank you for reading it and being apart of this journey. I wish it ended better but the community will tell the real story. 
> 
> The story was loosely inspired by Yes's 1973 record "Tales from Topographic Oceans"—which I listened to while writing. The title comes from the final track, "Ritual (Nous sommes du soleil)" The parenthetical, which is the final word of the story, literally means "We are from the Sun." I think this perfectly sums up what I found beauty in in Star Wars. Listen to the song (though it is 21 minutes long) or read the lyrics if you like.


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